A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Love Zone or Friend Zone)

photo credit here

As I've said in the previous post, there are only two kinds of possible responses after you've expressed yourself to him -- yes and no. There's also an in-between answer, but we'll get to that later.

If I am to refer to my personal experience, expressing myself to my crush eventually lead to him being my boyfriend. But for me, that was not the only cause -- it kinda helped that he said early on that since he experienced failure in courting girls many times over, he wanted to know how it feels like to be 'courted by a girl.' That kinda gave me the confidence boost to go ahead and pour my heart out to him.

However, just because you both feel the same way (and you guys have expressed them to each other) does not mean you have to be an item, stat! Sometimes you feel something for someone but you don't feel the need to be in a relationship just yet, or the other party feels that way. It's totally okay, and it will be if the guy (or you) respects your (or his) decision not to do so (props for doing that, by the way!). You guys may choose to maintain a mutual understanding between the two of you until you guys are ready to commit yourselves into a formal BF-GF relationship.

But if you guys are the kind who is totally ready for a relationship or the kind who hates that 'almost but not quite' kind of affair, then by all means go for it! And congratulations, you're finally in a relationship! :)

What if things don't go your way? Click 'Read More' to find out more

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Rules of the Game -- Part II)

photo credit here

As promised, here is the rest of the tips for making that first move towards the guy. I will also dish out some details on how I did it with my beau. *wink wink*

Rule #7: Know when it's time to 'spill the beans.'
Sometimes you'll know that it's time when, just like in my case, you 'can't fight this feeling anymore.' Other times you'll know it's time for some other reason (ie. he 'somehow' knew about what you feel). One thing's for sure -- when you know it's about time, don't delay it.

Rule #8: Sometimes anything coming from him may give you a hint.
It may be as simple as you guys getting too close for comfort or as 'grand' as him going the extra mile for you. The latter happened in my case where he actually went out of his way to fetch me from the office with flowers in tow. For some girls, this may be the hint you're looking for, but I only realized this later on.

We're almost there! Click 'Read More' now!

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Rules of the Game - Part I)

photo credit here

Valentine's Day may be over, but it's not too late for some love tips, no?

So are you ready to make that first move to the guy? Here now are the guidelines on playing the game:

Rule #1: Prepare yourself.
As I have mentioned, this move will be a big and bold one; thus it is important that you prepare yourself first and foremost. Refer to the previous post for further tips on how to prepare yourself for this endeavor.

Rule #2: Speak up.
As I've said in my previous post, knowing a guy on a personal level is an advantage. Otherwise, or if you've decided to make the first move (congrats!) yet you're too shy, at the very least get the conversation started. Introduce yourself, get to know the guy, find common ground -- you know the works.

But if you've already known the guy (good for you), gently turn up the conversation into something love-related. Depending on how well you've known the guy, it can be as simple as 'How do you see women?' or as bold as 'Do you have a girlfriend?' (I personally asked this question to my BF back then.) Get the ball rolling from there.

More tips after the jump!

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Some Points to Remember)

photo caption here

As I've mentioned in the previous post, I'm the kind who wants to be courted without all that brouhaha, and that I'm also willing to make the move if the need calls for it.

I'm pretty sure you're asking: How did you do that? Can I do it to? If I do that, I'll snag the man of my dreams? What if I'm not successful?

Before anything else, I'd like to clear out a few things:

- This is not for the faint-hearted. Love itself is a gamble. Breaking the norm in the name of love is a much greater gamble. And receiving all sorts of criticism for doing so is less than half of the battle. If you're not ready for such, leave out this option.

- This is not a surefire way to get the man of your dreams. Amulets and potions can backfire (or ineffective in the first place), and so is making the move towards the guy. No amount of preventive and curative measures can assure that.

- Proceed with caution. You can't just appear in front of him and blurt out all of your pent-up feelings for him. IMHO, the ideal way to this approach is to do it with a bit of finesse (however 'random' or 'accidental' it may appear), and this involves some timing and planning.

More tips coming up when you click "Read More"

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (An Introduction)

As promised, I have prepared this series of post in time for Valentines' Day. Actually, I have been doing this post series since early 2013, but I've been putting off posting this series because of a lot of editing that this has to go through and because of a lot of things happening in my life in the latter part of the year.

This post series was inspired, partly by my own love story, and partly by my closest officemates back in my former workplace to whom I shared my story with. They became curious when they found out that I (somehow) made the move for my now-boyfriend to court me and eventually be together.

When you come to think of it, a lot of women in the Philippines believe (a) that the guy should court the girl, (b) that the girl should wait for that guy to court her, and (c) that the guy should undergo numerous tests for the girl to determine whether he is worthy of her 'matamis na oo.' All of this despite the modern times and more modern ways of getting into a romantic relationship (ie. textmates, chatmates and F-buddies) -- and I believe most of the girls who engage in these means would say that they prefer the 'traditional' means if they have it their way.

In terms of preferred courtship style, I'd like to classify myself as somewhere in between these two -- I'd like to be courted, but without all the fluff and emotional hoopla. Yun bang may kilig kahit simple lang. And since I'm not the kind of girl who encounters many suitors, I'm open to 'making the move' if the need calls for it.

Case in point: my current boyfriend.

To make the long story short, my current boyfriend has been through many failed courtships, so he'd like to experience how it feels like to be courted by a girl. But because I also wanted to be courted, I just made a few moves (intentional or otherwise) to nudge him into courting me. The rest is history. (story supplement here)

Just a bit of disclosure before I begin with this series: I'm not, by no means, a love or relationships expert -- in fact I'm far from it. As a young-woman-aged-24-going-on-25, I still have a lot to experience when it comes to matters of the heart. All the things that I'll be disclosing in the next posts are based entirely on personal experience and observations in my environment. You may not agree in some of the points that I'll be discussing here, but I'm pretty sure that at the very least you could relate with some here.

In the next posts, I'll discuss some of the things I learned from this experience, starting from some points to remember before taking the plunge in this endeavor.

Unrequited Love Days

Poor Eponine. She have to die before the one she loved the most returned a bit of her affections. Photo credits

"The cruelest kind of love, the one that almost kills its victims.. Its called unrequited love."
-The Holiday (2006)

"I love him / But only on my own...' 
-Eponine, Les Miserables

******************************************

Urban Dictionary defines unrequited love as follows:

It's the feeling of being completely, hopelessly, desperately in love with someone, all the while knowing that your feelings will never reach them.

Its contradictory in that you feel incredible because you love someone so much, but also at the same time you feel almost overwhelming despair because you will never know what it is like to hold them in your arms, or touch their face, or kiss their lips. You will never know what it is like to wake-up next to them in bed in the morning, bodies entwined.

It can be masochistic in nature- it causes such heartache, but you enjoy loving the person so much, you willingly let your heart go through the agony, so you can hold onto something- I don't know, maybe hope?

In any case, unrequited love is a very sad thing.

I don't know if you agree with me, but I really think that when it comes to love, nothing hurts more than unrequited love -- the aforementioned definition says it all. And I should know -- been there done that.

The Unrequited Love Days. Those were the times when I admire him from afar. Spent sleepless night thinking what could have been if he gave me a chance. Cursed myself for going after a boy who would never me mine. And filled up diary pages of thoughts of him, his awe-inspiration, and his insensitivity (sort of).

But those days are far away for now. I have to admit, I'm still at a bliss even after three years into my present relationship. There are ups and downs along the way, but it was all good, nevertheless. However, there are times that I revisit my Unrequited Love Days, complete with thoughts of what could have been if it was pursued. I do not have any other intention for doing such -- rather, it was a reminder to me of how lucky I am now. Because somewhere, there is another person who is hurting for loving without being loved in return.

Do Relationships Need an Official Status?

Let's talk about love this time.

Do these situations sound familiar?

1. Someone who enjoys flings and affairs just for the heck of it, but when asked about love, he/she says: "Love? Me ganun ba? Kailangan ba ng ganoon?"

2. Two people who are obviously sweet and affectionate to each other (sometimes bordering to PDA or even PDI) but when asked about their 'status,' they would say, "We're just friends/We're still getting to know each other/We're enjoying each other's company." (ahem!)


For the first situation, I have encountered people who are not exactly ready to fall in love, thus they do not engage into any romantic thingy whatsoever. I also know a few people who actually engage into flings and not yet ready to commit. These people, as I observe, love the feeling of 'kilig' and the idea of having someone to be with, but are quite scared to 'stick' themselves to one person and into the relationship. In other words, they like the 'feeling of being with someone' but do not actually want to be with someone.

As for the second situation, this is so Pinoy showbiz. I mean, how many times have you encountered showbiz couples who are too sweet for words but say things like, 'We're still getting to know each other.' Then in a few days, you hear things like, 'Did you know that so-and-so and this-and-that broke up?' and all you can say is, 'Naging sila ba? Hindi ko alam kasi hindi naman sila umamin, eh.'

Which leads me to the most important question in this post:

Do relationships need an official status?


I guess when the person in situation one suddenly becomes close to someone in ways and means beyond normal friends do, that's where situation two arises. The same goes when someone becomes close to person described in situation one, again in ways and means beyond normal friends do. And when situation one and situation two come together, confusion follows.

To be really honest, I hate those people who refuse to put labels into their relationship. Not that it's an important thing, and not that it's required. But not having any description at all (and a true description at that) just creates a confusion to everyone you know. If you guys feel kind of mutual with each other but you (I mean you alone) are not if he/she feels the same way, just say the following:
1. 'We're close, and we're friends, but I personally feel that we're more than friends. I may be in love, but I don't know if he/she feels the same way (or) he/she is ready to accept me as his/her better half'
2.  'I feel comfortable when I'm with him/her, he/she's the best person that I know. I may be harboring special feelings for him/her, but I don't want to commit yet.'
3. 'We're close, and we both treat each other as special people in our lives. But right now, we just can't commit each other in a relationship that everyone accepts. So we enjoy each other's company, but we have the freedom to see other people. Maybe when the time comes that we're sure what we are to each other, maybe we can commit.

Isn't that simple?

In this issue, two things come to mind: commitment and disclosure. These two things, in my opinion, spells the difference between 'in a relationship' and a special civil status called 'it's complicated.' Everyone can treat another person as a special person in their life, and everyone can harbor amorous feelings towards them. But it takes commitment to be able to say that you're an item from that time on. And most importantly, how will you know if he or she is ready to commit if you don't ask, or even admit to him/her your feelings? Only by doing so will make you know if he/she feels the same way, if he/she is ready to commit him/herself, and if he/she is ready to be called his/her beau.


Let me share my experience: Back in the day, committing myself in a relationship is the least important thing in my life. I just got out of a very hard time in my life, and is determined to start life anew. So I got myself into my first job ever, and went to law school at the same time. Then I met him. We clicked in just a few conversations, and it did not take me that long to know that he's the most perfect guy based on my personal standards. However, because of my situation at that time, I was hesitant. I was in my most vulnerable point in terms of emotions, and I think committing myself in a new relationship at that point would be bad for me in the long run. But he proved to me that he is worth the risk that I might be taking, and he did that just by being himself. And so I said yes, but a few moments after we parted ways that day, I was thinking how stupid I was to do that. As I said, I was still emotionally vulnerable, that's why I fell for him very quickly and became stupid enough to be his girlfriend even though we've known each other for only a month and a half.

But turns out, it was the best decisions that I've done in my life. He helped me in 'nursing my wounds,' and made sure I'm taken care of. In return, I learned to give back the love that he gave me. And I realized that I fell for him not because of my vulnerability that time, but because I genuinely felt the love that I never knew I've been missing. Finally, I also realized that I'm more than ready to commit.

And so that makes the third thing that separates 'in a relationship' from 'it's complicated:' courage to take chances. You'll never know if he/she's ready to commit if you don't dare tell him/her how you feel, and sometimes, the only way to know that you're ready to commit is to go for it.

For My Very Own "KKK..." (a photo essay-slash-letter, whatever you wanna call it)

Some time ago, I was just a girl who tries to run far away from the world, with tears in her eyes, broken pieces of her heart and a burning desire to achieve something better...

Until I came to this place called law school. It was a new place, far from the world I used to know, with people many of which I barely knew.

I see them reading many books. And though I read for pleasure, I find it strange to see people reading many books at one time...

Until I found myself doing the same. Before I knew it, I enjoy reading many books...

Found new friends and rebuild my broken heart in the process...

Until you caught my attention...

Since then, we began spending time with each other

Do readings and assignments together, and became close to each other...

No, actually, we became too close for comfort. We could laugh at each other's jokes, share each other's opinions without feeling offended, tell our frustrations to each other... 

And when I held on to you, it feels so right...

But then I felt the fear... Fear that I might commit the same mistakes that I've done before, and that I might suffer the same fate... I was thinking of running away again...

Until you showed up with flowers by your side...

Gave it to me...

And held my hand.

As I looked into your eyes, the next thing I knew...

I've realized that all this was real.

That maybe Harry Burns was right:  "(W)hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. "

It's been well a year, and we've been through a lot of changes and adjustments. But I don't mind. Because I know that despite all the questions in my mind and fears in my heart, I was right this time in following my heart. Somehow, everything fell into its place in their own way, but almost all in our favor. Or maybe we just make-did with whatever we have. Oh well, it doesn't matter. All I know is that "you're the best thing that's ever been mine."

Cheers to you, my Kaklase, Kaibigan, Kasintahan...

The Ten Rules of Love

1. When giving reminders to him, repeat it as often as you could so he does not forget it.

2. When reading something, highlight the parts to be remembered. Use a bright-colored highlighter, or underline it.

3. Remove his whiteheads and blackheads every week or so. It's easy to do it because his pores are big enough - just press your nail into his nose pore to push out the blackhead.

4. Let him walk before you so he could assist you whenever you need it.

5. Invite him to dine out every once in a while, even if it's just fishballs and quail eggs in a corner cart.

6. Lean on him when you feel sleepy. He likes it when acts like your pillow.

7. Massage him when he's sick, especially if he's coughing. Focus on the bones below the shoulder blades - that's where the lungs are usually located.

8.  Learn how to do self-defense and how to massage.

9. Listen to him whenever he's saying something. You will learn a lot from him.

10. He loves to draw. Encourage him.



Oh, and one more thing. Whenever you're with him, he will make you feel like you're the one person that is so important in his life. So enjoy every moment of it, and don't ever blow that chance.


*this post is dedicated to DDB

Shoutouts (and Sayings)

There are a lot of things going on in my head. They are good enough as FB statuses or tweets, but then I decided to put them together in one blog posts.

Warning: the content of this post is only the opinion of the author. No particular person or event is being singled out by these sayings.

• Ang hirap talaga ng buhay ng babaeng may paang size 10. Yung mga designs na gusto ko, hanggang size 9 lang ang available. Hmp!

• Hoy, babae! ‘Wag kang umastang parang may utusan palagi! Konting respeto naman sa nakatatanda.

• Pasensya naman kung ang kinasanayan kong buhay ay ‘di hamak na simple kumpara sa buhay mong laging nakabitin ang isang paa sa hukay.

• Alam mo, mas marami ka pang maaakit na friends kung babawasan mo ng kahit konti ang ere mo sa ulo. Try mo, kahit once lang.

• Sige na, ikaw na ang perfect. Ikaw na ang engkandiyosa ng buong mundo!

• Mabuti na ang baboy kesa hipon.

• Kahit siguro hindi ka na niya mapatawad, ang importante eh buong puso kang humingi ng tawad sa kanya.

• Alam mo kung ano ang ginawa mo? Pinapaasa mo siya. Kahit na sabihing minahal mo siya, the fact na nagbigay ka ng rason para bitinin siya sa ere eh pinapaasa mo na siya. Mabuti kung nakapag-hintay siya. Ang kaso mo, hindi.

• Ikaw naman, sana man lang nagpaalam ka sa kanya kung nag-decide kang bitawan mo na siya. Siguro naman may karapatan siyang malaman kahit papaano, ‘di ba?

Lessons of 2010

I was about to start an entry just like what I did two years ago: a rundown of the events that happened in the year that has passed. But as I was organizing my thoughts about it, something came into my mind...

The year has been nice to me, so nice that it's so 'blog-worthy'; but at the same time it was so mean that I won't even dare to share to the entire world, even after many years.

Perhaps it would be better if I share the lessons that I have learned during the year 2010...

• Trust means virtually everything to any relationship. Lose it, and you also lose everything. And even if you do start again, you will never gain that same level of trust ever again.

• There is nothing quite like a strong support system. They are called such for a reason: they are meant to hold you up when you're about to fall at your back.

• They say, 'Love yourself first before loving others.' But sometimes, you can only learn loving yourself through those people who knew very well that you're worth loving.

• What you are in the past does not dictate your future. So stop wallowing at your past mistakes: learn your lessons and move forward to the future.

• But stay the same. It's good when you meet the expectations of yourself and of other people. However, it's also easy to get caught up with them, so much that you begin to lose those things that make you stand out from the rest. What I'm trying to say is this: go meet those expectations without losing your identity. Besides, people love your for what you are, not for what they want you to be.

• When the opportunity comes, go grab it. You'll never know when luck will smile at you.

• You don't always get it right the first time. Doing so means you learn quickly, but doing it right, even after many attempts, means you learn thoroughly enough to be able to share that talent or lesson to others. In other words, practice makes perfect.

• Take a few bites, and chew it very well. Never take everything in your mouth and swallow at the same time; lest you'll risk of throwing up.

• My college professor once told us, 'There is no such thing as time management; but there is such thing as setting priorities.' So true, especially now.

• But what if both are too important to let loose? Solution? Prioritize on what will benefit you in the long run.

• I mentioned earlier that there is nothing quite like a strong support system. And I repeat it again - in a world where everything is a test and you're always swamped with tons of to-do's, it's good to have a companion - someone who will remind you of the perks that you will gain after all that brouhaha.

• Take time to take care of yourself. Hectic schedules and a long to-do list is not a reason not to squeeze in some rituals to do so. In fact, these simple routines help ease stress.

• Love comes when you least expect it. I think this is self-explanatory.

• But don't be afraid to take chances. Go show and tell him/her what you really feel. Who knows, he/she may also feels the same way with you. And never, ever wait 'till it's too late.

• Never, ever push yourself to someone. 'He's just not that into you.'

• Similarities bring you closer, but differences make your bond grow stronger. A word of caution, though: quoting Tim Gunn, 'Make it work.'

• Absence makes the heart go fonder, but not too long to make it wander away and look for another.

• When the going gets tough, hold on tight. That's when the tough gets going.



And the most important lesson that I learned this year is this:

There are those times in your life that you're being swamped with all those bad things, and you find yourself uttering, 'I just wanna die.' But it is also in these times that someone or something comes into your life and change everything for good. Then you begin to appreciate all the things that you have and suddenly, you wish to live longer so you see more of these.

Bottom line?

Go on living your life. Have all the reasons to live, and keep them.

Love's Simple (and Grand) Pleasures

The first time I wrote about my boyfriend, I tackled our 'love story' through a song I wrote, though it still have no tune up to this day.  Today, I'm gonna tell how it's like to be with him.

For me the best part of him is that how he makes me totally happy with just the simplest things that there is. Like yesterday, I was feeling stuffy because I have colds and cough for a few days now. Added with work matters and tons of readings, I feel totally weak.

The day before, he told me that I want to have some Blizzard but he's short of funds that time. So that day, I made 'lambing' as I reminded him of that.

'Gusto mo?'

'Sana..."

(siyempre dapat may konting pakipot, hahaha!)

"Sige..."

Within me, I could feel my little heart jumping for joy, and the same time, I feel like going, 'Awww...'

I ordered my favorite Chocolate Truffle (though I like the Chocolate Cheesecake better, but it's a limited edition flavor), while he tried out the Candy Cane Chill.

'Ay, ubos na?'

Chalap, chalap!

And never mind that I have colds and cough, the fact that I had Blizzard that night is like being like a kid again.



If he's good at giving happines with the simplest things, wait till you see him take it to the next level...

See that bag? That's his advanced Christmas gift for me.

I do remember casually mentioning that I want a new bag, but I did not mention anything about how I want to have a bag, particularly buying one. So imagine my surprise when he handed me a big black canvas bag containing a huge mustard yellow bag from Ayla.

The best part? His reason why he decided to give me a bag:

'Nakita ko kasi palagi kang maraming dala.'

Yeah right. With all the law books, plus my netbook computer (which I sometimes bring along with me), I do bring a lot of things.

Quoting Elle Woods from 'Legally Blonde: The Musical': 'You're so adorable to think of me...'

Thanks, Don. Thanks for everything. :) <3

Train Ride Home

It's already a given fact that I write as my personal outlet (thus the reason for this blog). But once upon a time, I wrote poems and songs. When I was in high school, my best friend and I would doodle our ideas at the back of our seldomly-used notebook and then arrange it into a song of sorts. When we have time for it, we would compose its tune using her organ at her house.

Even during college, I continued writing songs. But since I'm more of a lyricist than a composer, I write songs but not even one of them has a tune.

Okay, there was one. When I was in first year in college, I had a huge crush on one of our classmates. So much that I even wrote a song for him, complete with its tune, all within a span of a week, during our semestral break. Fortunately, he was able to hear that song, with a little prodding from my friends. And to this day, I still treasure that song and keep it close to my heart. 

That was the last song that I wrote. Nothing ever followed since then. 

Until now.

One day, while I was waiting for the computer system in our office to get fixed, I passed my time by listening to Taylor Swift's newest album 'Speak Now.' I admire Taylor Swift in terms of her style in writing songs. Her songs were written in simple words that makes it easy to understand, and they were placed over a background of tunes fit for the mood of the song - be it hyper, sentimental, dark, among others.

Going back, that gave me an idea. I pulled out my notebook and started to doodle all the ideas that popped out of my head. Then lines and measures begin to follow, and not long after, I was writing a full song.

The song is, as usual, one without a tune, since I'm far away from my organ (or any musical instrument) when I was writing this. The song also has no rhyme (except for the first two lines), but it does have a measure (eight syllables at the verses, nine at the chorus). Basically, the song is inspired by my 'love story', which started with a 'train ride home.' (Yeah, romantic as I could ever be.)


Anyway, yes, the song is entitled 'Train Ride Home.'



Train Ride Home

I had it all but I screwed up
Punished until I'm broken up
All that's left of me is nothin'
And the ties were all but broken

So I turned away, ran away
Crying and sobbing as I say,
"I'll never commit more mistakes
I'll stay away, won't trust again."

And so here I am and standing
I'm so scared in this strange new world
I knew no one, talked to no one
I wondered how will I survive

Then I saw you on my train ride home
I've seen you before, where's that again?
Yes, you and I were at the same class
We're both fresh grads, we're from the same school
How come you take the same ride home?
Do we drop off the same train station?
So many things to ask, but for now
Can we talk a while, if you don't mind?

And then you stood right next to me
You said hi and I said hello
Then you asked, 'Where do you drop off?'
It turns out, we both drop off there

Fast forward, a few weeks later
The prof says 'Goodbye, 'till next time'
We bid goodbye to our classmates
And walked our way to the train stop

Now we're both on the same train ride home
You tell jokes, I laugh 'till my sides hurt
We talked until we have to go down
We looked at each other and then sighed
Now we're both on the same train ride home
Got to drop off the same train station
So many things to ask, but for now
Can you walk me home, if you don't mind?

Suddenly, I feel my heart beat
Then I smiled, but then I felt sad
'Cause I said I won't trust again
I'm afraid I'm falling for you...

Until one day you called me up
You said you're gonna pick me up
Then you're standing by my doorway
You smile while you're holding a bouquet

And you said,

It started on the same train ride home
We talked and laughed 'till our sides hurt
And then I felt for the first time ever
Someone accepts me for who I am
Each time we take the same train ride home
I wish that this ride would never stop
So many things to wish, but for now
Would you be my girl, if you don't mind?

And so here I am, I'm standing
Standing brave in this strange new world
I'm ready to take anything
'Cause I know I'm never alone

Do You Believe in Love?

In Legally Blonde: The Musical, the Harvard professor asks Elle Woods why she should be admitted in Harvard, even after a "very flashy presentation" because the former could "still don't see one reason to admit you (Elle)."

Here is what Elle sang to him:

How about love?
Have you ever been in love?
Cause if you have, you'll know
That love never accepts a defeat
No challenge it can't meet
No place it cannot go


Don't say no to a woman in love
Don't laugh when I say love
Don't think that I'm naive
Because even a person who's smart
Can listen to their heart
Can listen and believe
So believe in what love can achieve


Do you believe? (I do!)
Do you believe? (Me too!)
Yes, we believe in love!
How 'bout you?

And so I say the last two lines once again:

"I believe in love. How 'bout you?'


PS: By the way, that speech made Elle score a ticket to Harvard!