On Body Love and Self-Acceptance

Hiya, guys!

photo credit here

As I'm doing this post I'm watching The Plump Pinay Show -- no, make it catching up with the episodes that I've missed. They usually air Mondays and Thursdays at 6pm and have their replay at 9pm, but most of the time I'm out of the house during those times (you know, school). It's a really good thing that they upload their episodes over at YouTube for their fans like me who could not watch their show on the set airing time.

You heard it right, I'm a fan of these twins and their blog because I totally support their advocacy, and because I'm personally going through a journey towards self-acceptance.

photo credit here

Truth be told, it was a long and hard one. I won't get into much of the details, but to keep it a little short, my parents would ALWAYS pick on my body -- how my tummy would stick out like a pregnant woman, how I would be vulnerable to all kinds of diseases because of my fat body, how I can't wear certain clothes (body-hugging clothes, in particular) -- you know the drill. They would force me (emphasis on force here) to eat less and to work out for two hours, just so I could be as thin as the rest of my family (I'm the 'fattest' in the family, by the way). My sibs, in turn, would also mock me for being big and fat unlike themselves.

Out of frustration, I "tried" doing what they tell me -- I ate less and exercised more at one point of my life. I was feeling good about it until it started to affect some aspects of my life, because I became obsessed with all things weight loss that it has momentarily taken over my life. It has affected me so much that it started to take its toll on my law studies. And a day of The Plump Pinay blog-reading marathon (and a few more readings from other sites to supplement that) made me realize that I don't need to be thin to be beautiful, healthy and happy. 

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Love Zone or Friend Zone)

photo credit here

As I've said in the previous post, there are only two kinds of possible responses after you've expressed yourself to him -- yes and no. There's also an in-between answer, but we'll get to that later.

If I am to refer to my personal experience, expressing myself to my crush eventually lead to him being my boyfriend. But for me, that was not the only cause -- it kinda helped that he said early on that since he experienced failure in courting girls many times over, he wanted to know how it feels like to be 'courted by a girl.' That kinda gave me the confidence boost to go ahead and pour my heart out to him.

However, just because you both feel the same way (and you guys have expressed them to each other) does not mean you have to be an item, stat! Sometimes you feel something for someone but you don't feel the need to be in a relationship just yet, or the other party feels that way. It's totally okay, and it will be if the guy (or you) respects your (or his) decision not to do so (props for doing that, by the way!). You guys may choose to maintain a mutual understanding between the two of you until you guys are ready to commit yourselves into a formal BF-GF relationship.

But if you guys are the kind who is totally ready for a relationship or the kind who hates that 'almost but not quite' kind of affair, then by all means go for it! And congratulations, you're finally in a relationship! :)

What if things don't go your way? Click 'Read More' to find out more

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Rules of the Game -- Part II)

photo credit here

As promised, here is the rest of the tips for making that first move towards the guy. I will also dish out some details on how I did it with my beau. *wink wink*

Rule #7: Know when it's time to 'spill the beans.'
Sometimes you'll know that it's time when, just like in my case, you 'can't fight this feeling anymore.' Other times you'll know it's time for some other reason (ie. he 'somehow' knew about what you feel). One thing's for sure -- when you know it's about time, don't delay it.

Rule #8: Sometimes anything coming from him may give you a hint.
It may be as simple as you guys getting too close for comfort or as 'grand' as him going the extra mile for you. The latter happened in my case where he actually went out of his way to fetch me from the office with flowers in tow. For some girls, this may be the hint you're looking for, but I only realized this later on.

We're almost there! Click 'Read More' now!

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Rules of the Game - Part I)

photo credit here

Valentine's Day may be over, but it's not too late for some love tips, no?

So are you ready to make that first move to the guy? Here now are the guidelines on playing the game:

Rule #1: Prepare yourself.
As I have mentioned, this move will be a big and bold one; thus it is important that you prepare yourself first and foremost. Refer to the previous post for further tips on how to prepare yourself for this endeavor.

Rule #2: Speak up.
As I've said in my previous post, knowing a guy on a personal level is an advantage. Otherwise, or if you've decided to make the first move (congrats!) yet you're too shy, at the very least get the conversation started. Introduce yourself, get to know the guy, find common ground -- you know the works.

But if you've already known the guy (good for you), gently turn up the conversation into something love-related. Depending on how well you've known the guy, it can be as simple as 'How do you see women?' or as bold as 'Do you have a girlfriend?' (I personally asked this question to my BF back then.) Get the ball rolling from there.

More tips after the jump!

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (Some Points to Remember)

photo caption here

As I've mentioned in the previous post, I'm the kind who wants to be courted without all that brouhaha, and that I'm also willing to make the move if the need calls for it.

I'm pretty sure you're asking: How did you do that? Can I do it to? If I do that, I'll snag the man of my dreams? What if I'm not successful?

Before anything else, I'd like to clear out a few things:

- This is not for the faint-hearted. Love itself is a gamble. Breaking the norm in the name of love is a much greater gamble. And receiving all sorts of criticism for doing so is less than half of the battle. If you're not ready for such, leave out this option.

- This is not a surefire way to get the man of your dreams. Amulets and potions can backfire (or ineffective in the first place), and so is making the move towards the guy. No amount of preventive and curative measures can assure that.

- Proceed with caution. You can't just appear in front of him and blurt out all of your pent-up feelings for him. IMHO, the ideal way to this approach is to do it with a bit of finesse (however 'random' or 'accidental' it may appear), and this involves some timing and planning.

More tips coming up when you click "Read More"

A Filipina's Guide to Making the First Move (An Introduction)

As promised, I have prepared this series of post in time for Valentines' Day. Actually, I have been doing this post series since early 2013, but I've been putting off posting this series because of a lot of editing that this has to go through and because of a lot of things happening in my life in the latter part of the year.

This post series was inspired, partly by my own love story, and partly by my closest officemates back in my former workplace to whom I shared my story with. They became curious when they found out that I (somehow) made the move for my now-boyfriend to court me and eventually be together.

When you come to think of it, a lot of women in the Philippines believe (a) that the guy should court the girl, (b) that the girl should wait for that guy to court her, and (c) that the guy should undergo numerous tests for the girl to determine whether he is worthy of her 'matamis na oo.' All of this despite the modern times and more modern ways of getting into a romantic relationship (ie. textmates, chatmates and F-buddies) -- and I believe most of the girls who engage in these means would say that they prefer the 'traditional' means if they have it their way.

In terms of preferred courtship style, I'd like to classify myself as somewhere in between these two -- I'd like to be courted, but without all the fluff and emotional hoopla. Yun bang may kilig kahit simple lang. And since I'm not the kind of girl who encounters many suitors, I'm open to 'making the move' if the need calls for it.

Case in point: my current boyfriend.

To make the long story short, my current boyfriend has been through many failed courtships, so he'd like to experience how it feels like to be courted by a girl. But because I also wanted to be courted, I just made a few moves (intentional or otherwise) to nudge him into courting me. The rest is history. (story supplement here)

Just a bit of disclosure before I begin with this series: I'm not, by no means, a love or relationships expert -- in fact I'm far from it. As a young-woman-aged-24-going-on-25, I still have a lot to experience when it comes to matters of the heart. All the things that I'll be disclosing in the next posts are based entirely on personal experience and observations in my environment. You may not agree in some of the points that I'll be discussing here, but I'm pretty sure that at the very least you could relate with some here.

In the next posts, I'll discuss some of the things I learned from this experience, starting from some points to remember before taking the plunge in this endeavor.

Free At Last

On this day, I finally gained my freedom.

Not that kind of freedom that I really wanted -- I'm way far from it. Today, I'm free from all the crazy things my work is giving me.

Oh, I have not mentioned that much. Sorry, my bad. Okay, I'll start from the very beginning:

I ended my stint at a major TV network in October because my contract there is about to end and I decided not to renew anymore. I may have the option to renew and what not, but I decided not to because the frequent changes in shift schedule is already taking a toll on me.

But wanting to stay as a working student (I'm paying my school duties, and that's why I went the working student mode early on) made me apply for that home-based job being offered to me. I got in, and then started immediately, not knowing what I got myself into.

Sure my job was writing, which I enjoy, but -- early on it came to a point where it becomes anything but enjoyable. I mean, I studied Journalism and written the heck out of everything in my four years there. I was writing even more when I came to law school (hello, essay exams!).

Thing is, my particular job has become a chore. So much that I could not accomplish what is expected from me there. And those things were beating the hell out of me for reasons uncomprehendable to me to this day. No words can explain it, ever.

And yesterday, after three months of probationary period, I'm finally out of it. And I feel relieved, for the first time ever since last Christmas. Or even after I resigned from my former job prior to this.

Really, I could not describe what I feel right now. Probably anything but sadness. Of course I was sad that I'm no longer part of the company, but for the most part I'm relieved.

What's next for me? Well, I'm applying to various companies, preferably not that far from what I have studies (Journalism and Law), and hopefully they have a schedule that's favorable for working students like me. And I hope I get in there.

As for the freedom that I really wanted, yes I'm far from it, but I'm planning on it. But that's another story.

For now, I declare my return to the blogging scene!

Just Saying (aka May Masabi Lang)

Hello everyone! It's been quite a while since my last post, and I think I owe you guys even just a post on, well, anything.

Thing is (please don't take it as an excuse), I'm terribly busy right now. It's midterm season, and just last week I just had my exams on two subjects. I will be having more in the coming days, but holidays and suspensions due to increment weather gets the better of me, as well as everyone in law school.

Work.. No comment, next question please. (haha!)

So, that's basically it. Because of all the readings that I'm trying to squeeze into my head, I'm currently experiencing a writer's block, and so there's nothing so significant on today's post. Just an update, that's it.

BUT. But. I'm currently doing a series of posts that's been waaaaayyyy overdue, that as soon as I've polished them out (aka edited), I'll be posting them. Trust me, you'd want to read this post, especially that it's something that's close to the hearts of all of us. *hint hint*

That might be all. Till next time!

Unrequited Love Days

Poor Eponine. She have to die before the one she loved the most returned a bit of her affections. Photo credits

"The cruelest kind of love, the one that almost kills its victims.. Its called unrequited love."
-The Holiday (2006)

"I love him / But only on my own...' 
-Eponine, Les Miserables

******************************************

Urban Dictionary defines unrequited love as follows:

It's the feeling of being completely, hopelessly, desperately in love with someone, all the while knowing that your feelings will never reach them.

Its contradictory in that you feel incredible because you love someone so much, but also at the same time you feel almost overwhelming despair because you will never know what it is like to hold them in your arms, or touch their face, or kiss their lips. You will never know what it is like to wake-up next to them in bed in the morning, bodies entwined.

It can be masochistic in nature- it causes such heartache, but you enjoy loving the person so much, you willingly let your heart go through the agony, so you can hold onto something- I don't know, maybe hope?

In any case, unrequited love is a very sad thing.

I don't know if you agree with me, but I really think that when it comes to love, nothing hurts more than unrequited love -- the aforementioned definition says it all. And I should know -- been there done that.

The Unrequited Love Days. Those were the times when I admire him from afar. Spent sleepless night thinking what could have been if he gave me a chance. Cursed myself for going after a boy who would never me mine. And filled up diary pages of thoughts of him, his awe-inspiration, and his insensitivity (sort of).

But those days are far away for now. I have to admit, I'm still at a bliss even after three years into my present relationship. There are ups and downs along the way, but it was all good, nevertheless. However, there are times that I revisit my Unrequited Love Days, complete with thoughts of what could have been if it was pursued. I do not have any other intention for doing such -- rather, it was a reminder to me of how lucky I am now. Because somewhere, there is another person who is hurting for loving without being loved in return.

A Letter to the Greatest Heartbreaker

I have not met you face to face, but I know how you hurt people. You take away the most important things from them in such a short notice, or even without one. You destroy friendships, you break families, you cut the ties of almost every person you come across. Most importantly, you make them question their faith in whomever they believe in.

But my biggest wonder about you is how some people anticipate your arrival. Some even do great lengths for you to come to them, even after despising you after taking away something from them.

I don't mean to question your existence -- you are a hard pill to swallow at one point of our lives. No one escapes, even me; so I won't dare to contest that. But if that's the case, why do you come off as 'the greatest heartbreaker ever?' Why do you go on bringing tears to one's eyes? Why do you go on taking away the most treasured things from them?

I could go on listing down all questions for you to answer, even though I know you won't respond to them, like, ever. Because you have your reasons that we will never understand until later on, or maybe not at all. Probably because you know we'll get by even though we thought we could not recover.

I'm writing this to you because of one person that means so much to me. You see, this person was like a hidden treasure that I found just when I, like, lost all of my fortunes. He took care of me more than the way I wanted him to. And I took care of him more than the way he wanted me to.

But because of you, he lost that one thing that he value the most, other than me. He was so devastated, and over time, I found my treasure slowly tarnishing, losing his luster. Then one day, he asked me what you look like, what do you do, what will happen if he meets you.

And I was like, no, you're too young to meet you. Besides, you will come at the right time and just have to wait. But he could not. He said things will only get better if he meets you and comes along with you, and maybe stay with you for good.

For this reason, I only have one wish: please don't listen to him. Don't come to him just yet. It's selfish for me to say this, but please give me more time to be with him. I want to show him how much he means to me. I want him to be ready when you meet him; and by that I mean he have lived his life without any pretenses, regrets and ill-feelings, and that he has experienced how it was like to be loved in return.

Lovingly pleading,
Jessa

It's More Fun in the Philippines because... It's More Fun to Bash?!

"Criticizing something like the 'Its More Fun in the Philippines' campaign is pretty much like attempting to abort a fetus."

Upon seeing all of the criticisms regarding the country's latest tourism slogan, this became my FB status.

Because really, why are these people trying to kill early on something that has not proven itself yet? It really is like trying to kill a fetus who has not seen what the 'real' world is like.

Oh, maybe it has proven something. It has proven that it can cause a major stir. Web exposure is one thing, becoming a trending topic is another. And as PR people puts it, 'publicity, whether good or bad, is still publicity.' In this case, the campaign may have gained all the flak that 'angry tweeters' have to throw out, but it's still a stir.

Probably they still have the attachment with the WOW campaign. Sure. But let me quote Vicente Romano III on his article on ABS-CBNNews.com:

I can’t really blame them for their unwavering loyalty to the WOW brand. It appeals to us Pinoys. We use it for things we luv!

But they don’t know that we don’t use it in Japan – our third largest market, because they don’t understand the word WOW and there is no direct equivalent of the word in their language. They don’t know that even in the US – our number one market (and where they fully understand the word WOW but maybe not appreciate it as we do), we dropped it and used another slogan because there was no traction. And they don’t know that in the last few years that we have been using the brand, we have steadily lost market share to the point where Vietnam has overtaken us in terms of tourist arrivals.

Of course you can argue that there are many other reasons for our declining market position – lack of infrastructure, traffic, lousy airport, lack of promotional budget., etc. You may even blame GMA (of which I’m tempted to agree ;-)). But it might interest you to know that at the time when Vietnam overtook us, they had far worse infrastructure than ours (small airport, limited road network), and operating on a smaller promotional budget than ours.

And this Vicente Romano is the one 'responsible' for the 'Pilipinas Kay Ganda' campaign, the one which gained the most criticisms in Philippine tourism history. (Personally, though, the slogan is good, its graphics is another thing altogether.)

Then Ramon Jimenez is gaining flak for the slogan being a copycat of a 1951 Swiss tourism campaign? FYI: intellectual property rights expire after 50 years, and the campaign is 61 years old. If this is a literary work (novel, poem, etc.), this would have been a public domain, meaning they won't earn royalties anymore.

Another point to ponder, quoting Romano:

Never mind that Switzerland used it way back in 1951. Or that there was “Truly Tuscany” before Malaysia’s “Truly Asia”, Amazing Australia before Amazing Thailand, and Incredible Italy before Incredible India.

No. We can’t stoop down to their level. Iba ang Pinoy. Kailangan Orig!

Side comment: Sir, kasi daw lupain na raw tayo ng manggagaya. Kung kokopyahin pa raw natin yung campaign ng Swiso, copier's paradise na raw tayo.

Granted that we 'copied' the slogan, we can make it work to be as effective or more effective campaign than Switzerland did, right?


Another thing that the campaign has proven is that most of the Filipinos over the web, obviously, are against the whole DOT management, and the whole Aquino administration. In other words, dissatisfaction with the government.

But what else is new? These people have done that same criticism with 'Pilipinas Kay Ganda' and the same criticism with the Arroyo administration, and with all the administration that has lead the Philippines.

Heck, these people really think that there will never be one administration that will satisfy ALL your demands.

Or maybe these people think that, as Romano puts it, 'it's more fun to bash.'


Let us not forget what the concept of campaign is all about. It's about promoting a person or place, and enumerating the good things that goes with it. You'll never find degrading and defamatory statements in a campaign. Unless it's a black propaganda campaign or smear campaign. And unless it's the TV show 'Gossip Girl' who infamously used the bad reviews as its publicity campaign.

Sure there may be poverty (yeah), poor infrastructures (right) and corruption (ugh!). There may be traffic, worst airport and what-have-you.

But let us not forget that there's more to the 7,107 islands in this country than those things.


And let me quote Romano one more time:

Sure, you have all the right to bash this one and assert your own idea. You live in this country and, ultimately, you are a co-owner of whatever country brand our government rolls out.

But unless you can get the other 95 million co-owners behind your idea, perhaps we will all be better off supporting this one, instead.

Tama...

Kaya suporta na lang, pwede?

There's Something about VW Beetle...

The past few days, I've been seeing all kinds of VW Beetles either on my way to the office or on my way home from office. Whether it's the vintage version (above) or the modern version. And somehow, I'm attracted to this kind of car. So much that sometimes, I feel like the car is singing to me through its horn a la MYMP: "Come on and get me, get me, get me; Baby I'm yours, come on and get me..."

I'm not exactly a car lover, but I do know a good car when I see one. But whenever I see a VW Beetle along the streets, I know it's not a really good car. On vintage ones, Beetles can be quite noisy, and can be slow-moving. But I know, given good restoration and proper modern parts, it can give the sedans of today a run for its money.

I'm a little bit bias on vintage Beetles, because I've seen modern versions of the Beetle along the streets. Yes, it's sleeker and maybe it can like a modern sedan. But for me, it lacks the appeal that the vintage Beetles have.

This morning, on my way home and as I pass by Sct. Albano St., I saw not one, but two vintage Beetles parked on the side. And then it hit me.

I wanted to have a Beetle someday. As in I wanted to own one for myself. Maybe a few tweaks to make it run better or something, but I want to have a vintage Beetle.

Maybe the vintage Beetle is my dream car, after all...

A Really Unique Professor, Indeed

I have a professor in law school who, in my opinion, is rather weird.

First, he thinks that Filipinos are "hindi magaling." Reason: "Punta ka sa US Embassy, tignan natin kung makakuha ka kaagad ng visa." He adds that if we are that good, then we could acquire visas immediately like Americans do when they secure visas to other countries. But hello, America is a superpower, and they have all the right to impose tight measures to prevent illegal immigrants. Mehikano nga na talagang kapitbahay nila, hirap makapasok ng US eh. Besides, when you are a superpower, acquiring visas is easiest to your favor.

Second, Filipinos "admire foreigners too much, proof that they do not trust their fellowmen's talent." Case in point: Azkals. It seems to him that the media put too much attention to the foreign-blooded players (sorry fans, this is my professor's opinion, I'm just echoing his words). Sadly, I think this is true (now this time the opinion is mine, you can rant to me to your liking); but I'd like to think that while they may have the skill, what made the hype for them is our insecurity towards white-skinned or coffee-skinned nationalities.

Third, he thinks that Bayani Fernando should have been the president of the country. Okay, this one I partly agree. Sure, he may be efficient in implementing laws, and has the political will to do so. But considering that majority of the country are the class D and E, I don't think he can make his powers known on a national basis. As we all know, back in Bayani's day as MMDA chairman, class D and E citizens see him as an enemy, if you know what I mean.

Fourth, he thinks that Ferdinand Marcos was the best president in history. Actually, he's not alone, or at least the only one I know who thinks the same. My dad, in particular, says the same. And I think if you're gonna ask the oldies who has been through this time, they might say the same. I mean, the economy was at its peak, the country is well-recognized in the international community and there was peace and order (ang nagagawa nga naman ng strictly-implemented curfew). But I think Marcos's pitfall was his desire to stay longer in his post. I'd like to think that that desire bred the greed in him, and being the smart person that he is (they say it, I don't), he made sure that the plan will pursue without anyone knowing what the hell was going on. So he blocked the opposition and the media. However, people at those times are not as dumb as they were during the colonial period. They already acquired ideologies of democracy (and probably communism), and they know that what Marcos is doing is not right. By the time he is already asserting his extreme power, the people are itching to put him out of his post.

Oh well. As I have learned in my college days, "everyone is entitled to their own opinion." However, there are those that are totally deviating to the norms of society, and we sometimes judge people according to their beliefs. I think that regardless of what we could say in a particular issue, we should all respect it and leave it as that, mere opinion. Unless, of course, it becomes the fact later on.

And by respect of opinion, I mean, "walang basagan ng trip."

Memory Wise....

As I'm typing this blog entry, I just got home from school. Just got home from midterm exams in two different subjects. And I have to say: not only does it drain one's brain, but as well as one's hands. I tell you, right after the last exams, the kalyo in my right middle finger that I had when I was in college grew out again.

But I gotta be honest -- I don't have the photographic memory that is said to be the greatest tool in surviving law school, and eventually, bar exams. But there's something about my memory capacity that's really weird, and I found this out as I went on in law school. And I say memory, because analyzing skills is, for me, another thing altogether.

I have this tendency to, well, memorize and remember essential items and a few details just in time for the exams. After the exams, I felt like I forget all of them, kinda like throwing something out of the window after using it. But then, after many days or months, whenever the topic of discussion goes to something that I have taken up in the past, I could relate to them every single detail that I could remember about that. Just give me a few keywords to help me remember it.

Hmmm... It seems to me like my brain is a big fermentation vat or a wine cellar -- everything stocked inside must be well-fermented before it could be used. Otherwise, the turnout would not be like that of the desired result. But when it is ready to use, just a few dusting and filtering and it is ready to use.

You think this kind of memory would serve me well in the future exams, or even better, in the bar exams? I gotta see in the next few days. But for the meantime, I need to pass the midterms so bad.

My Personality (?)

For the past few months, my officemates and I are engrossed with 'Kokology,' a series of books filled with quizzes and tests that reveal our personality. We were all having so much fun with that book, we practically have those quizzes after our lunch, just a few minutes to let the food swim down our system.

It reminded me of a quiz I took some years ago, back when I was in college. It was sort of an online quiz, and then I posted the results on my former blog.

This time, I took that quiz again, and here is my results:


Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


To take the quiz I just took, click here

One Month Later...

I know, I know... It's been a month and three days since my last blog post. I'm pretty sure you know my reason for this: work, studies, studies, studies. As usual. But not entirely the case for this month, after all 'all work (and studies) and no play makes Jesselle a dull girl.' Right?

Where do I start?

1. I'm already one year old in my workplace. Which means getting my 13th month pay in full (bibili na talaga ako ng digicam!), lesser reductions in tardiness and leave of absences (though that's not an excuse to do so), and the feeling of being a little bit senior from the rest of the people in the office. In a world where people come and go faster than you can say 'welcome aboard,' it feels good to know that you have lasted that long in the place.

2. One and a half month has passed since my first day in second year law school. Though not entirely second year because I'm still taking up three subjects from my first year (which I left out before due to time constraints). Yet as I entered my first class this morning, I felt slightly different amidst my classmates who are in their freshman year. It's like being an ate stuck inside a room filled with babies. But on a serious note, I was thinking to myself how time swiftly passed by: the time when I was not in my best spirits during the first day in school, the time that I was trying to figure out how to catch up my classmates who has a law background, the time I was asking all those questions about law, the time that I ride the train home with that boy with a rounded face...

3. Boyfie and I are just a month shy of celebrating our first anniversary. Kahit ako, hindi ako makapaniwalang aabot kami ng isang taon. I mean, these days, most of the relationships that I come across only last for a few months. And really, how many couples do you know (excluding married ones) who have actually lasted for more than a year? Mabibilang mo lang sa kamay, 'di ba? And in our case, we see each other almost every day (though this sem, we only see each other four days a week), so most of my friends would think that we'd grow tired of each other. But that's not the case for us. Ewan ko ba, basta hindi kami nagkakasawaan, kahit na konti na lang magkapalit kami ng mukha. Enough of the explanations -- all I know is that I'm happy to still be with him after all this time.

4. Actually, for the past few days, I've been going through a trial (not court trial, ha?) that seems to me to be the toughest that I've been for the past 23 years of my life. This is one of the few times where I know who my true friends are, those kinds who would not leave me hanging on the edge.

So there I am one month after my last entry. I might do this thingy less often due to my busyness. In other words, sinamantala ko ang pagkakataon. Hehehe.

Do You Have a Bucket List?

The term 'bucket list,' which refers to the list of things to do before you die, is actually an 'invented' word from the movie 'The Bucket List.' In this movie, two terminally-ill men (portrayed by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) goes on a road trip with a list of things they want to do before they 'kick the bucket' or die, thus the term bucket list.

This morning, I encountered a feature article in the ABS-CBN News website about a cancer-stricken girl who made her own 'bucket list.' One of the things she lists down is 'to become a Twitter trending topic. Interestingly enough, she did became a Twitter trending topic after she posted her list on her blog.

Girl with cancer's 'bucket list' becomes Twitter trend

I'm sure all of us wants to do all the things we want to do before we die. Question is, how many of them can you actually realize before you die?


Back in high school, I made a list of sorts of things to do. I can't remember my time limit for that, whether it is before I get married or before I die. I kept that list in my memory vault and practically forgot about it throughout my college life and my life as a working law student. When I read the article in the link, I suddenly remembered my list and began looking for it. Luckily, I still haven't lost it in a pile of pictures, letters and mementos in the box. It was written in a Papemelroti paper, and with a neat and medium-sized handwriting (my handwriting got smaller when I went to college).

Anyway, here's what I wrote on my 'pre-college' list, edited for grammar purposes. The asterisk (*) after the item stands for things that has already been done as of the moment.

1. design my own dress and actually wear it
2. have a glam pictorial
3. go on a shopping spree
4. be on a white sand beach*
5. go figure skating and perform a full routine
6. see a real dolphin swimming by the sea
7. take a bath by the waterfalls
8. see the Manila Bay sunset*
9. learn a new language*
10. ultimate bonding with my friends*
11. lie under the stars with my loved ones
12. slow dance under the stars
13. receive flowers from my loved ones*
14. date by the seaside
15. get the most romantic first kiss I could ever have*

As I look back at this list, I realize that some of them are probably too impossible to realize, but most of them are easily reachable. Question is, how in the Earth do I get to realize them?


Yesterday, I encountered a list from Cosmo, called 18 Things A Single Gal Should Do Before Getting Hitched. As I look at that list, I found out that I haven't done anything on that list! And I'm 22-freakin'-years-old now. Though I still have a few more years and I don't have immediate plans to marry (oh, please, I still wanna become a lawyer!), I felt that certain frustration, and I ask myself how in the Earth did I manage to stay 'manang' all these time, when there is so much more that the world has to offer?

I think the 'bucket list' represents all the things that our heart desires. The question on how and when those things will be realized is a matter of conquering fears and obstacles, and probably a little bit of right timing. As for the lists that I had, maybe I haven't done most of the things there is because either I still don't have the will to do so or it's still not the right time. And really, who knows when will I realize them?

So, do you have a bucket list?

Night and Day (a health lesson)

May - my second month in PM shift at work, and one of the few times when night becomes day for me. And I'll tell you why.

Work day starts at 3PM, and ends at 12AM. Estimated time of arrival from workplace to house is around 1AM, and some downtime before I snooze off at 3AM. I usually wake up at 10AM, and prepare for another work day.

This is not the first time I've experienced this kind of lifestyle. A few months ago, I was assigned in graveyard shift (actually, every now and then I am being assigned there, but lately, the GY shift was lifted, leaving two shifts behind. however, with the circumstances that will happen starting next month, I just don't know if the GY will make a comeback). And boy, the shift ruined my entire body. You see, that is the time when night literally becomes day for me, what with work and school being juggled at the same time. And with inadequate sleep and irregular eating hours, my body is just a few pounds shy of being a human flotation device (read: salbabida).

But until my period becomes as unpredictable as the weather, I paused to think, 'This is not right.' My body is deteriorating, and not in a good shape. Sleep is a big factor here, and even if I become a vegan and start doing four-hour workouts, if I don't get enough sleep (in a proper time), my life won't last long. And I'm not getting any younger.

And when my health is in the line, I really have to do something.

So I really hope I could arrange my schedule so I could be in the morning shift and stay that way until the semester ends. Another thing: I also hope I could arrange my school schedule into something that is less toxic. Okay, I know that law school times could be quite crazy, so I guess I could put a few subjects off (because I learned the hard way that going full-load while working is a totally crazy move, unless you're Einstein) so I can have a few days off from the school week. That means a few more time for rest and a tad more time for studying, because law school subjects are like mountains - each step-up is more difficult than the other.

I said during the start of the school year last year, quoting a pain medicine ad, "Trabaho sa umaga, aral sa gabi? Kakayanin, sir!" It's harder than I thought it was, I learned it the hard way. Now that I've learned my lesson, I realized that health really is wealth, and no career or academic achievement can ever match that of being in the pink of health.

Shoutouts (and Sayings)

There are a lot of things going on in my head. They are good enough as FB statuses or tweets, but then I decided to put them together in one blog posts.

Warning: the content of this post is only the opinion of the author. No particular person or event is being singled out by these sayings.

• Ang hirap talaga ng buhay ng babaeng may paang size 10. Yung mga designs na gusto ko, hanggang size 9 lang ang available. Hmp!

• Hoy, babae! ‘Wag kang umastang parang may utusan palagi! Konting respeto naman sa nakatatanda.

• Pasensya naman kung ang kinasanayan kong buhay ay ‘di hamak na simple kumpara sa buhay mong laging nakabitin ang isang paa sa hukay.

• Alam mo, mas marami ka pang maaakit na friends kung babawasan mo ng kahit konti ang ere mo sa ulo. Try mo, kahit once lang.

• Sige na, ikaw na ang perfect. Ikaw na ang engkandiyosa ng buong mundo!

• Mabuti na ang baboy kesa hipon.

• Kahit siguro hindi ka na niya mapatawad, ang importante eh buong puso kang humingi ng tawad sa kanya.

• Alam mo kung ano ang ginawa mo? Pinapaasa mo siya. Kahit na sabihing minahal mo siya, the fact na nagbigay ka ng rason para bitinin siya sa ere eh pinapaasa mo na siya. Mabuti kung nakapag-hintay siya. Ang kaso mo, hindi.

• Ikaw naman, sana man lang nagpaalam ka sa kanya kung nag-decide kang bitawan mo na siya. Siguro naman may karapatan siyang malaman kahit papaano, ‘di ba?

Wazzup With Meh?

My answer? Nothing much, thank you.

I've been thinking about updating my blog, because when you come to think about it, my latest blog entry was a late one - it's supposed to be posted the day after, but it took some time out before I finally posted them. Going back, I really feel disorganized, probably because of the stress brought about by graveyard shift, that I can't seem to arrange my thoughts good enough for a half-decent blog entry.

So to make it up to the lost time, I'll just make a rundown na lang siguro...

• There was nothing much last V-Day for me and my boyfriend, primarily because of his sickness (more of that later). But even though, he still made an effort to meet me at Gateway. We just ordered pizza (buy one take one, mind you) and ate one of them at the food court (I took the other one to the office, where I treated my shiftmates to a pizza). Highlight of the night? He gave me a single-stem tulip!
• Boyfie has been suffering from mild asthma since the first week of February. It all started when he cleaned their house in time for his family's arrival, but the next day, he is going down with fever, so bad that he was not around for two days. The following week, he came to class coughing every now and then, that he has to be looked after everytime we're together. I really don't mind at all, but I really can't help feeling pity towards him. I mean, he should have been resting the whole time, but he still chose to go to school just so he does not miss the classes. Poor boy...
• I missed the Taylor Swift concert! Primarily because I don't have the dough to buy the tickets... So sad... :(