Perhaps the most nerve-wracking experience for any guy or girl in a relationship is meeting the other party's family, unless if you have known his or her family long before you became an item. There's the stress of making a good impression in front of them, and most especially becoming the subject of their (intense) scrutiny.
Just like any other girl, I'm also nervous when my boyfriend told me that he's gonna introduce me to his family. There are all those questions inside my head, most especially the 'would-they-like-me-as-I-am' question. But as I learned later on, stressing over that question makes me more stressed than what I already am.
But first, let me tell a little bit about my beau:
BF is the youngest son of four children of a police officer and a government employee, who are both retired at present. His oldest brother is a seaman in a foreign ship, the second oldest brother is a police officer, and his older sister is a graduating law student.
Both his parents came from a town in Masbate where almost all of the townsfolk know each other (not surprising for me), primarily because they are closely or distantly related either by blood or by marriage (which is quite surprising for me). Some of their family members became local public officials (and political rivals), while the others own the biggest businesses that they know in town. For these reasons, their clan became the most prominent and influential clan in that town.
And these are also the reasons why the thought of meeting them makes me want to faint. Don't get me wrong though, I wanted to meet his family, it's just that I'm afraid I don't meet their 'high standards,' if you know what I mean.
See how paranoid I am?
During the first year of our relationship, I get to meet his family, though not at the same time. I first met his sister, whom I quickly became comfortable with, probably because we share almost the same interests. Then I met his parents, his eldest brother, his sister-in-law and nephew at the hospital, where his mother is confined. The second time that I visited the same hospital, I met his older brother.
As the days pass by (and probably as his mother's condition got worse), I get to know his family more, though there are some that I still need to get in touch more. For instance, I haven't known of his second oldest brother at the moment. On the other hand, I get to talk to his older sister more often, whether on Facebook, over the phone, or in person.
When their mother died last December 16, it took my boyfriend two days to wallow over her loss. Since I wasn't exactly 'near' him that time (my family and I were on our way to the province when I heard the news from him), I promised him that time that I'm gonna visit the wake for two days once I get home. After that period, he immediately told me that he's going to introduce me to the rest of his family members.
At first, I feel like I'm gonna panic. Meeting his family is one thing. Meeting his entire clan is another thing altogether. It's because, as I've said earlier, his clan is one of the most prominent in his home province, thus they expect nothing less for their family members. Also, some of them may be scrutinizing, at times to the point that this becomes a deciding factor on whether they deserve to be a certain family member's better half. I'm not kidding -- as BF has told me, some of his cousins have a hard time getting a spouse because of this.
Day 1 (December 19)
The first day of the wake wasn't that bad. I put on a dress (one of the few times that I wear one), and even fixed myself before leaving the office (I went to the funeral house after my office duty) and before entering the chapel where the wake is going on. Upon entering the chapel, I was immediately introduced to some of his family members. Upon meeting me, one of his closest cousins told me, 'Naloko ka ba niyan?'
I smiled at that remark, because I understood what she meant. At the same time, I felt flattered because what she meant by that statement is, 'How the hell did my cousin get a pretty girl like you?' Not that I'm bragging, but that's the way it is, or at least how I comprehended the remark.
I was introduced further to other family members, and had small talk with some that I've already met before. (FYI: Prior to the wake, whenever Beau and I came across some of his cousins, he immediately introduces me to them.) At the same time, I also took time to prepare some snacks to be serve to the other guests in the wake. But for the most part, I'm playing with BF's one-year-old niece, Mac-mac.
Deep inside, I still feel nervous because I'm about to meet those relatives whom he says are scrutinizing when it comes to the unmarried members' beaus. There's this whole would-they-like-me-as-I-am questions milling into my mind, despite BF reminding me to be myself but be mindful of manners at the same time. But as time passes by playing with Mac-mac, I don't feel as anxious as before I enter the chapel when I speak to other family members, particularly those I'm familiar with already.
(to be continued...)
photo credits courtesy of Pan Am official website (abc.go.com/shows/pan-am)
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